Posts Tagged ‘culinary’

I never thought it would come to this! The art of serving up a culinary delight that you could feast your eyes on, is no more. No salivating over the presentation of a delicious plate of pasta dressed with olive oil and fresh basil. No, this is to be a thing of the past.

Do you recall the Science fiction thriller Soylent Green? It was produced in 1973 and it won 2 awards for its brilliance. While I am not partial to anything ‘Sciffie’ myself this movie however, had a profound effect on me. Way back then issues like the Greenhouse Effect, pollution, overpopulation and depleted resources were all part of this thought provoking movie. It was definitely a movie way ahead of its time. The one aspect that haunted me over the years was the substitute used for food. It was a tablet that had been produced from euthanised people!

What a frightening thought that the human race might have to resort to this!

A whole new experience….

I gingerly put my hand up to my mouth. Can I do this? ‘It’ had been disguised in a round ball filled with safe ingredients like oats, honey and coconut. But the ‘it’ bit was the worrying part of this suspicious wannabe truffle.

I had to remind myself of the many benefits of the ‘it’ ingredient in these deceitful little morsels. They have twice as much protein as beef (gram for gram), contain vitamin B12….which I am assured is excellent for my brain health. This is comforting as the threat of dementia looms…..a real concern as one starts to forget all the proper nouns in your vocabulary. ‘It’ also has plenty of calcium, far more than milk. That should please all the celiac sufferers out there.

So what is this magical food? I hesitate to tell you but here goes. It is none other than CRICKETS!

My skin crawled when I thought of dangling this six- legged creature into my mouth. I could hear the crunch of the exoskeleton and could feel the spikes on their back legs rough against my tongue. The idea of putting an insect into my mouth made me crawl!. As an ex Biology teacher I have spent hours studying and observing these little creatures. The last thing that I ever contemplated was popping one into my mouth! Oh how we need to adapt to change!

But all is not lost. This amazing new food source has produced a consumer friendly product. It is available in powder form and can be added into many different recipes to boost the protein content.

Imagine your favourite biscuit recipe with the added bonus of this extra nutrition. It certainly lessens the guilt. Greenies will also be pleased to know that using crickets as a source of protein is environmentally friendly.

Yes, crickets are easy to breed and are happiest in a confined space. Condo-like structures are used as breeding stations. These undemanding creepy crawlies also require less water and eat very little. It makes for a cost effective business venture as well as a highly nutritious food source.

All I am left to do is put past prejudices away and is to sneak some past my family and into the morning smoothie…….

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The injured arm snug in a Canadian mitten.

The injured arm snug in a Canadian mitten.











All hail my left hand! You have done yourself proud today! Not only did you manage to get me in and out of my bath unscathed but you dressed me single handedly too. What a feat! I fear that I owe you an apology.

All these years you have hung around at my side playing second fiddle. I have never allowed you to shine, never taken cogniscance of your hidden potential. You have endured derogatory name calling and have been insulted with words like ‘cack –handed.’ But all that will change now that you are ‘my right hand man.’

A recent skiing accident put my right hand into a state of temporary dormancy. Suddenly mundane tasks like brushing one’s teeth, take on a whole new meaning. In order to carry out these simple deeds old synapses had to be woken up and refired. The left hand that was once merely the spectator is now the active player. In fact it has been observed by my family that I am being more thorough with certain jobs. This is because they are being completed with such concentration and deliberation. Hopefully my dentist will notice a difference on my next visit.

My culinary practices are being tested too. I must add that I am a no nonsense chef! I usually produce lashings of tasty food in record time, as it is what my family demands. This has all had to change with my novice assistant, the left hand. My lengthy daily escapades next to the stove consist of dreaming up novel ways to unscrew a cap or open a sealed packet. It has required some lateral thinking and I have come up with some ingenious methods which I am thinking of patenting some day. They include using the grip of my hip against my broken arm and using the ‘said arm’ like a claw. This inventive grip enables narrow objects to slide between my bruised fingers without applying pressure to the ‘broken bits.’ I never realized how valuable it was to be able to merely hold onto something. It allows me to carry out a few tricky maneuvers when cooking the evening meal. However, I do pollute the air with a few choice words in the process! 

So the learning curve continues with its challenges that still need to be mastered….like putting on the ‘morning face.’ A touch of eye pencil, the odd bit of panel beating and a smudge of lipstick is all part of this execution. Another challenge is meeting Josh’s needs. I have to grip a boisterous dog on our daily stroll and pick up the morning turd simultaneously. The delightful package then has to be knotted up into a biodegradable plastic bag to be dispensed with at a later stage. There is much lip curling and grimacing when the knot is being tied. My nimble leftie is certainly working hard for her living.



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The Michael Bublé CD is blaring in my car as I make my way through the lanes down to Oakville town. I have been conjuring up ideas for a few special culinary delights to surprise my household and I thought of going with a ‘Moose” theme evening. I found the appropriate wine bottle clad with a colossal moose head and the ‘moosedrol’ chocolates can suffice as a desert. Now all I have to do is find the moose venison at our local butcher in Oakville. My shopping list is all planned and I am reminded that I have a coffee date with a South African friend who I met on a ‘South Africans in Toronto’ website. Who would have ever thought that I would meet people in this way? But being a stranger in town one has to resort to drastic measures!

My bokkie antlers are perched on the car and I have dressed in my reindeer stockings just to complete the whole Christmas theme. My son and his wife arrive for a visit from South Africa tomorrow, so we thought we should deck the halls and the car too just to create the atmosphere. Today I am going to have a practice run. The strange thing is, although I feel like an idiot in my Christmas attire and my yuletide car, no one bats an eyelid.  Canadians embrace the season with such zeal and go all out over this time.  In fact we have decided that we definitely have to acquire a few more Christmas lights as our display is quite conservative this year. But wait for it, I will hit the New Year sales and buy up all the bargains and hopefully Maison de Morkel will shine even brighter next year.

Josh rides high on his antler chariot

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