The Bum Scraper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Orv_F2HV4gk
There was a loud screech as I reversed out the driveway! The tyres squealed as I made my way around the corner. This was fun! I was riding my son’s ‘boy racer’ as he had borrowed my car. It was exhilarating to feel the power under the hood. I felt like I was chasing along NoordhoekBeach on the back of a wild stallion! Yippee! I had to revive old skills of driving such similar vehicles. It was also a ‘stick car’ which means that it had a gear lever. I recall being told, when confronted with such ‘bum scrapers,’ to keep the revs up! I have become spoilt here in Canada as we drive automatic vehicles. You merely point and accelerate. So the co ordination of gear lever, clutch and brake all had to be synchronized in my ‘blonde head.’
I finally got the hang of it but was so grateful that men in my household were not able to observe me. After about ten minutes of rough starts and stalls, I made my way down to the other side of town where I was about to start my Christmas shopping. I parked conveniently and competently. I had got the hang of this ‘wild horse.’ I grabbed my coat and rushed into the building. The shopping was successful and I managed to find just what I was looking for. Oh how I wish that all of these shopping jaunts could be so successful! The Christmas list was now beginning to look less daunting. I paid for my goods and pushed my trolley out to my sleek chariot.
As I approached my car, I noticed that someone had stuck a wooden block behind one of my back tyres. Silly fool! Some prankster was obviously waiting for me to reverse over the big wooden ‘hump!’ I was irritated and threw my parcels into the boot. I took out the block and with great aplomb, threw it onto the sidewalk. Take that! I mumbled under my breath and swung my legs into the car. My tall frame took quite a bit of effort to get settled into the seat. These ‘bum scrapers’ are much lower than what I am used to. Then I looked up and noticed a note neatly clipped on my windscreen. It read….
You left your car on neutral. There is a piece of wood under your back wheel.
The note!
I imagined the scene. I had forgotten to put my handbrake on! ‘The black stallion’ decided to take off without its rider! Someone observed the over zealous vehicle and rushed to the tyre place nearby. ‘The kind someone’ fetched a wooden block and gently pushed it up against the back wheel. My face burned red with embarrassment and shame!
How was I going to explain this one away? Ha! Ha!
Toronto Calling 